UNH Crushes trend story by Hannah Rivers

Hannah Rivers                                                                                   November 14, 2013

Newswriting 2                                                                                               Trend Story

Spilling your guts never looked so good

            There are many different ways to tell someone you like them. You can use the 2^nd grade method and tease them, you can take the middle school approach and pass them a note, or you can post their name on a social media website.

            This manner of declaring one’s affection is the basis behind UNH Crushes--a Facebook page that allows UNH students to post either the name of their crush (if they know it) or a description of what they look like (if the person is someone they see around campus). A link for Google Docs is on the top of the page, which provides users with an anonymous method of revealing their feelings. After they have submitted their crush, it is sent to UNH sophomore Drew Mills--the man behind the mask. But this wasn’t always the case.

            Almost a year ago Crushes was born, but two weeks later the creator shut it down because he/she wanted it to be less vulgar and more serious. Mills--who had posted on it avidly--was angry that the page was gone, so he started it back up again. He got three hundred likes in two days and it just took off from there. Currently Crushes has 4, 552 likes (roughly one third of the university’s undergraduate population), making it one of the most popular UNH-based Facebook pages. It is only surpassed by UNH Confessions, which has 8, 791 likes.           

            This year the page has fewer views (4,000 as opposed to 13,000), but Mills isn’t concerned because now there is more interaction between students. It used to be that students just scrolled through a long list of names and vague descriptions, but they have begun commenting on posts and offering relationship advice to their fellow Wildcats.

            “It’s much more dynamic,” Mills said. “It’s not just boring to read through.”

            Part of this change can be attributed to the recent diversification of posts. There are still funny ones and vulgar ones, but Mills has noticed that they are becoming longer and more emotional, almost like letters. The page is getting taken more seriously now, but there is still a fair amount of criticism.

            UNH student Sophia Liebenson-Morse heard about Crushes a month ago and was initially shocked by the malicious and crude content, but her interest was sparked when she saw a post that was akin to a ballad. Although she thought it was sweet, it made her wonder: why didn’t the guy pour his heart out in person?

            “I feel like nowadays people need to have their love verified by other people,” Liebenson-Morse said. “They want the whole world to know what they’re going through.”

            But they want to do it anonymously, a factor that UNH junior Jamie Shepard believes contributes greatly to the allure of Crushes.

            “It’s a thing to hide behind,” she said. “It’s a way to say what you want without being embarrassed about it.”

            Mills agrees. He thinks that it’s an empowering experience for people. Before Crushes, students would see someone they thought was attractive and not be able to do anything about it besides go back and tell their friends.

            “Now they actually have an opportunity to let that person know,” he said. “I feel like that’s why it’s popular. Just the hope that something will come out of it. It probably won’t, but it’s just that slight hope that it might.”

            Mills also sees it as an outlet.

            “It’s progressed from just a fun page that you go on to write stuff about your occasional crush,” he said, “to serious posts about really wanting to find that one hot girl you saw at the bus stop, to venting and getting feedback from people.”

            Some of this feedback is negative and is aimed at Mills himself. Many students have complained that he takes too long to post, but they don’t realize that he is a student, too. Time management is one the biggest challenges that Mills faces. He continually struggles to update UNH Crushes while managing to do his schoolwork. Mills has found that the best way to keep up with the page is to go through posts during his down time. He used to post every single one, but that got tiring. Now he only puts up ones that have an adequate description. If it’s not specific enough, he won’t post it.

            “If I’m behind a couple days, I’ll just go through and pick out the funny ones or the long ones,” Mills said. “I probably do one out of every 10 until I catch up.”

            To avoid falling behind, he tries to post three times a day. But if he only checks the page once at night, he ends up having around 100 posts and it becomes too overwhelming.

            This may lead people to complain that their crushes aren’t being posted, but at least they’re not concerned with who runs the page. Unlike the creator of UNH Confessions--who put his name on his page--Mills hasn’t intentionally given away his identity. Of course a lot of people know from word of mouth, but he’d rather stay as anonymous as possible so that he can comment on the page without everyone knowing that it was him.

            “I’d rather not tell the whole campus because I’m kind of a dick on it,” Mills said. 

            His comments aren’t the only foul language on the page. In addition to the sweet and emotional posts, there are some that are mean and vulgar. Mills recalls one post that he only read half way through because it was so long. It seemed nice so he posted it. Ten minutes later he read it again and discovered that at the bottom it said, “Jk. F*** you.”  So he removed the post to avoid angering people and getting flagged.

            But posts also get flagged by Facebook administrators for being overly-vulgar. Once enough have been flagged, both UNH Crushes and Mills’ personal Facebook page are shut down for 12 hours--preventing him from commenting on anything or messaging anyone. This has occurred four times already and each time Facebook administrators threaten to shut down the page for good. But for now Crushes is still alive and kicking.

            One possible explanation for its continued popularity is that people want to see if they’re on it or if any of their friends are on it.

            “I feel like people do get a little too obsessed with seeing themselves on the page,” Mills said. “They are addicted to reading it.”

            Liebenson-Morse believes this addiction stems from a hunger for status.

            “People want to be known for something,” she said. “There are a lot of girls who are known as ‘the girl with really blond hair and really big tits.’ And they like that. They don’t mind having that label. This is just another way of boosting (it).”

            This claim to fame is one reason why some of the posts aren’t authentic. Mills estimates that half of the posts are real and the other half is just people posting about themselves or their friends.

            “I feel like guys probably post about themselves if they’re egotistical and need attention,” he said. “And girls are the ones that post about their friends…..to make them feel better.”

            But sometimes certain people just get posted about a lot, like UNH junior Brittany Schaefer. Last year her name was all over Crushes, but she swears that it wasn’t her friends (they were actually getting pissed about it) or herself. In fact, Schaefer feels awkward about her internet fame. 

            “You don’t want to seem egotistical, because I’m not,” she said, “so if someone brings it up I say it’s not that big of a deal.”

            Though Schaefer is annoyed by all the posts, she does find the vulgar ones hilarious and the honest ones refreshing. She doesn’t know why people have to be anonymous and prefers that they’re not. There was one guy who posted directly on the page (so that everyone could see who he was) and Schaefer commented on it to thank him for not being a wimp.

            So what happens after you post about your crush? Does your declaration become buried under hundreds of others, never to be given another thought? Or do you do something about it?

            Shepard chose the latter. After her crush commented on her post with a picture of someone winking, she tried talking to him. But he thought she was weird. At the dining hall, when Joe ended up sitting at a table near Shepard, he left to find another seat--abandoning his food in the process.

            “Some people just aren’t down with people being that open,” she said. “I’m the type of person that will walk up to someone and tell them they’re cool. Most people are weird about that.”

            Though it’s unclear whether or not UNH Crushes actually starts relationships, one thing is for certain: it brings people together.

            “It’s such a big school,” said Mills. “You’re never going to meet everyone from it, so it’s fun to hear stories and see crushes about people that you may never know.”

            People are proud of UNH and they want to feel connected to their fellow students, even if it’s through the slightly-impersonal method of social media. But not everyone possesses Wildcat spirit. Liebenson-Morse is a senior, but she’s never experienced this widespread craving for unity. She could care less about UNH and feels that she should never have gone here.

            “I think the people that post on those sites are really engrossed in this culture and I just don’t like it,” Liebenson-Morse said. 

            Whether the purpose of UNH Crushes is to connect everyone or whether it’s purely for entertainment value, it does have an influence on how college students view relationships.

            “I don’t think it will change them in the long run,” said Shepard. “It will just change how people meet each other and I think it will make relationships more able to happen.”

            Liebenson-Morse believes that the impact of Crushes can only go so far.

            “Then it’s going to come down to two people meeting for coffee,” she said. “it’s not going to wipe away that physical connection.”

            The page may be a good place for the initial interaction, but Liebenson-Morse worries that soon people won’t be able to speak to each other face-to-face. She wonders how people met when there was no internet.

            “Whatever happened to the good, old-fashioned letter?” she said.

            But with the recent influx of ballad-like posts, it seems the letter has simply undergone a makeover. Mills just hopes that they don’t overtake the entire page.

            “If it completely makes the 100 percent flip to serious,” he said, “I’m not going to enjoy it anymore. I’m going to hand it off to someone else for them to take over.”

            The satisfaction for Mills is in reading the funny posts. If they’re still coming, he’s happy. But once there’s no satisfaction for him, he won’t do it anymore.

            From the original creator to Drew Mills and onto whoever runs the page in the future, UNH Crushes will live on in some way--whether in an online format or simply in the memories of UNH students. Because when has spilling your guts ever looked so good?